Weddings or Marriages

Couples in West Africa have three weddings or marriages. 

First, there is the traditional marriage where the groom presents the bride price items to the bride’s family. The groom and his family go the the bride’s village home, then with music blaring, present the items from the list that the family (mother, father, uncles, aunts, etc.) requested in hopes that the family will grant permission for the groom to wed their daughter. It is a joyous occasion. Couples consider that they are married after that event. (Note the battery operated fans in the brides’ hand.)

Second, is the church or “white” wedding. I asked, “Why do you call it white? Because of the white wedding dress?” The answer, “No, because it is what white people do.” Then my question, “Why do you do it? It’s expensive!” One lady raised her hands as if to say who knows, the other said, “because we’ve been indoctrinated.” At this marriage the wedding certificate is signed by the two getting married, and their fathers. It is a big deal presided over by the ecclesiastical leader, for members of the church it is their bishop. Just prior to the signing there are at least two sacrament meeting type talks followed by the bishop reading what is printed by the State about marriage. 

Third, is the temple sealing. The ones we’ve attended have been quiet, attended by few friends and perhaps family who live close by, but no party afterwards. It is very low-key and sacred, especially after the fanfare of the first two. There are no expectations of how much time should lapse between the three events.